trust

God on Trial

/ cpdowning

judge

In her excellent book Prayer in the Night, Tish Harrison Warren tells about a time when a friend’s infant son had to have surgery. As the baby was wheeled away, the mother said to the father, “We have to decide right now whether or not God is good, because if we wait to determine that by the results of this surgery, we will always keep God on trial.”*

We do that, don’t we? We consistently judge God by the outcome of our prayers, according to His provisions to address our needs or on whether or not things turn out the way we want. We believe God to be good when He does what we think He should, but we can quickly put Him on trial when life moves in a direction we don’t like. Continue reading →

Reality of Mortality

/ cpdowning

Most caregivers are readily aware of their own mortality. Concerns about provision for our loved ones (who struggle with mental illness) after we ourselves are gone hover on the all-too-quickly-approaching horizon. Even when we are young-ish. Even when we are healthy. Even when we have ample resources for the future. When we are no longer able to be there for them, who will care for them like we do? Who will love them as we have? Who will understand them as we have learned to? Continue reading →

A Prayer for 3 a.m.

/ cpdowning

psalm 91-5aLord, it is after 3 in the morning: my “worry hour.” The terror of the night is creeping into my mind as I imagine the worst. Our adult son, Douglas, isn’t back in yet, in the home we share, so he can be safe in the bed we provide, so he can sleep in peace in those rare moments when his busy mind allows rest.

But now, at 3 a.m., he is out there. Lonely and confused. At best, he’s at a late-night diner having coffee and chatting it up with whoever will talk to him. At worst … oh the terror of the night creeps into my mind. Continue reading →